The loss of limbo

I promise I won’t do this often, but this poem from this book sums up the first half of this year for me.

My life has fallen down
around me before
–lots of times,
for lots of reasons–
usually other people.

And most of the time
I was fortunate enough
to have a large lump of
that life hit me on the
head and render me numb
to the pain & desolation
that followed.
And I survived.
And I live to love again.

But this,
this slow erosion from below
–or within–
it’s me falling down around my life
because you’re still in that life
–but not really.
And you’re out of that life
–but not quite.


I do all right
alone,
and better
together,
but
I do very poorly
when
semi-
together.

In solitude
I do much,
in love
I do more,
but
in doubt
I only transfer
pain to paper
in gigantic Passion Plays
complete with miracles and martyrs
and crucifixions and resurrections.

Come to stay
or
stay away.

This series of passion poems
is becoming a heavy cross to bare.



4 comments ↓

#1   mundens on 08.06.07 at 8:36 pm

Hmm, sounds like we’ve got a certain amount of relationship-related stuff in common at present. Don;t know if I can help, but I can guarantee I know just how you feel!

The poem seems quite appropriate to me as well, and the book it comes from, while stating the obvious, is also a good affirmation and reminder.

#2   fuVENUSrs on 08.07.07 at 4:17 am

Things are a lot better in black and white. Grey areas give me a headache. *hugs*

#3   Joel on 08.10.07 at 6:41 pm

@mundens: Yeah, it was quite good just reading the intro chapter of the book. It put some things in perspective for me.

@fuVENUSrs: As I’m finding out, this is true. Although obviously it’s still very difficult at times.

#4   John boy on 08.05.08 at 4:56 am

MONSTER

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